Has your sex drive has taken a bit of a nosedive of late? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Low libido is a common complaint amongst many men and women. But there are some simple things you can do to get you in the mood. Try these foolproof tips to put the sizzle back into your sex drive.
Worried that you’re feeling less frisky than you used to? Whilst a low libido can be frustrating to some, it’s actually extremely common and very normal for your sex drive to fluctuate over time. But the good news is there are ways to get it back on track.
Here’s everything you need to know about low libido, and what you can do to put your sex drive back in the fast lane.
Why has my sex drive gone down?
There could be a number of reasons you don’t feel up to having sex as much as you used to. A lot of the time, most people who have a low libido are just too damn tired. Busy work schedules, family life and hectic social lives can leave a lot of us feeling exhausted at the end of the night. It’s an effort to put your PJs on, let alone get yourself revved up for late-night bedroom antics.
But there are other factors that can affect your desire to have sex — stress, anxiety, hormone changes, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, UTIs, premature ejaculation, illness, relationship issues (to name a few) can all play a part.
If, however, you’ve suddenly lost interest in having sex for no apparent reason, make an appointment with your doctor. They will carry out a number of tests to rule out any medical conditions that could be the reason for your lower libido.
Are there ways I can boost my libido?
Of course! There’s no such thing as a “normal libido”. Sex drives differ from person to person, but if you’re worried and would like to up the ante in the bedroom department, here are some stimulating ways to put the spice back into your love life.
How to increase your libido: 9 simple tricks
1. Try to manage your anxiety
If you’re suffering with anxiety, the hardest thing to hear is someone telling you to manage it. We know how difficult dealing with anxiety can be. But if on top of this, you’re also feeling that your sex drive is dwindling, it can often make you feel even more anxious and self-conscious.
But there are steps you can take to help ease your anxiety symptoms and give your a libido boost. Things like eating healthily and exercising; talking openly with your partner about the way you’re feeling; couples’ therapy; practicing meditation and mindfulness can all help with anxiety.
If you’re feeling particularly anxious or overwhelmed and it’s having an impact on your sexual relationships, reach out to talk to someone who can help, like a GP or therapist. They will be able to advise a course of appropriate treatment to help with your specific symptoms.
2. Don’t let your depression spiral out of control
Much like anxiety, depression can also have a negative effect on your sex drive. People who suffer with depression often experience a loss of desire, it takes them longer to orgasm, and they find sex less enjoyable. This in itself could also have a spiralling effect on your emotions and your self-esteem. If you don’t enjoy sex like you used to, it’s bound to have an impact on the way that you feel.
Getting the right treatment, like counselling therapy, antidepressant medications, or natural healing treatments, can help to boost your libido. Here are some helpful resources if you need to to chat to someone about your depression.
Some people experience low sex drive as a result of the antidepressants they’re prescribed. If you think this might be the case, make an appointment with your doctor to see if there are alternative treatments or medications more suitable.
3. Consider your choice of birth control
Most birth control pills contain the female hormones oestrogen and progestin, which actually lower your testosterone levels — the hormone that makes you want to have sex. If you’re already low in testosterone before you take the pill, it could mean that your sex drives takes a hit when you start taking it. If it does, speak to your doctor about alternative methods of birth control. There are lots out there that won’t affect your hormones or sex drive. Here are some more birth control options for you to consider.
4. Get enough sleep
Feeling tired is one of the most common complaints when it comes to low sex drive. When you’re tired, you’re less likely to feel frisky. Try going to bed a little earlier each night so that you feel well rested the next day. That way, you’ll have more energy for some late-night delight.
Sex also helps you sleep better — when you have sex, your body makes oxytocin (a hormone that makes you feel connected to your partner) and lowers cortisol (a stress-related hormone), so it will help you feel less stressed and more relaxed. Having an orgasm also releases a hormone called prolactin, which makes you feel relaxed and sleepy — the perfect remedy for a restful night’s sleep.
Worried it could be more? Here are some medical reasons that could be causing your constant fatigue.
5. Try mindfulness and yoga
Yoga postures are believed to help improve pelvic muscle tone, release tight hip joints, and boost your mood, which, along with breathing exercises and relaxation techniques, can help you feel more relaxed and present when you’re having sex. So the chances are, you’ll enjoy it more. Mindfulness can also help, as it will help you focus and keep your attention on what you’re doing to enhance your pleasure.
5. Masturbate or self-stimulate
The best way to find out exactly what satisfies you sexually, is to try it on yourself. Sex therapists recommend masturbation or sex toys to discover exactly what it is that turns you on the most. Then you can tell your partner exactly what you want them to do. If you have trouble reaching orgasm, you can also try using a vibrator or sex toy together for enhanced stimulation.
6. Exercise more
One of the simplest and easiest ways to boost your libido is working out. Physical activity does wonders for your sex drive, as well as improving your self-esteem, cardiovascular health and your mood. Not only that, blood flows to your genitals as much as to your heart, which means you’ll experience more intense sensations.
7. Focus on your relationship
If the desire to jump into bed with your partner has faded, it could mean there’s a problem with your relationship that you both need to address. Try make time for each other to talk through any issues and really connect. If this doesn’t help, try speaking to a relationship therapist who will help you both communicate more openly and effectively.
8. Use a lubricant
If sex is painful, getting in the mood can be near enough impossible. But it doesn’t have to be. If vaginal dryness is causing you pain, using a lubricant during sex will make it all the more pleasurable.
9. Try some natural remedies
Here are some natural supplements to help improve your mood, sex drive, energy and your overall health.
Loved our advice on how to increase your libido? We've got lots more health advice on our Health & Wellness Edit, guaranteed to give your body a well-deserved boost. Can supplements really boost your immune system? Find out what's causing your rash.
